How do you know its time to walk away from a relationship? Whether it is a marriage or a friendship there may be a time when the relationship has deteriorated to a point where the only thing left is the memory of good times once had.
Recently a friend of mine asked me the question of how I knew that my marriage was coming to an end. I think deep inside, we all know when its time to end a relationship but for one reason or another, we push those feelings down and hope to god that they never resurface again. But they do – and when they do more frequently than not – it is time to make some tough decisions.
Breaking up is difficult and breaking-up a marriage, particularly when children are involved, is even harder to do. I’m definitely not advocating for divorce and in most situations where children are involved, I personally would do all I could to try and keep the family intact. But that is not always possible and I believe there can be a detrimental effect of that, on the children – the vicious cycle. Because we tend to emulate what we know, it is not uncommon to find ourselves in the same kind of relationships as our parents – even if their marriage was bad.
But let’s step away from the deep discussion of divorce and bring this to a far less complicated level of just a generic relationship. I think we can all agree that any toxic relationship that impacts our emotional well-being is one from which we should walk away. But sometimes it’s not so clear cut and may require an assessment of the relationship. My friend Annie recommends making a pros and cons list, which i agree, can be effective. But let’s take a step back – if it comes to a point when we need to start weighing the value of our relationship, then that in itself should raise a red flag.
Relationships particularly friendships, should not require a great deal of effort to sustain but they do involve emotions which are complex and often times difficult to reconcile. But feelings can’t be wrong – so if an action makes you feel a certain way it really shouldn’t require further analysis or validation. So with that said, all the assessment that I really need is to simply listen to my heart and when a relationship makes me cry more than it makes me laugh it’s time for me to walk away.