I turned 43 years old today, on this day April 29. This birthday marks a significant milestone that has become quite important to me and my psychological state of mind. I have been anxiously awaiting and secretly fearing its arrival for 24 years.
When I was 18, my mother died of a heart attack. She was 42 years old. Because her death came so swiftly and without warning, its impact on my psyche was very dramatic. I began to believe that a curse loomed overhead, and that my life too, would come to a sudden end at the age of 42. I tucked this belief deeply away, but now and again, it would seep out and remind me that life was fragile.
When I passed the last anniversary of my mother’s death, I began to realize that I probably wasn’t going to die this year. That feeling started to empower me and free my mind from what was mental trepidation. And now my life can soar.
Today I reflect on where I am. I am pleased. I am grateful. I am calm. I am healthy.
I have options. I am content. I am beautiful. I love.
– And so my journey continues.