By tamara on
hate note

The other day, three of my oldest and dearest friends got together, as we normally do each year, usually to celebrate someone’s birthday.  I however was not invited.  I can’t say that I am surprised as my friendship with one of the girls has vanished over the last year while another friendship has been flat-lining for the better part of a decade – even when the paddles surge a shock to the chest, there is still only just a faint pulse.

We have grown apart and all live on separate planets with only history in common.  But despite our differences, we are still all childhood friends.  And by the nostalgia of this fact, I was truly disappointed that I was excluded.  In my mind I did what I do best, I rationalized and justified; but it didn’t really help – my feelings were still hurt.

I spoke with family who know us all very well, but no one expressed any empathy.  They all felt the gap in our goals was too great among us, to try and preserve the friendships.  Relationships without common goals are difficult to maintain and almost impossible to thrive.  This made me wonder – at what point should we dissolve a friendship for our
own betterment?

But not every relationship needs to have a goal-oriented result.  Some friendships are perfectly fine for the pleasure of the joy and laughter that they bring.  I then stopped and further analyzed my relationships with my friends – our last few meetings and our last few conversations.  Upon pondering each, I realized that it may be time time to let them go.

The image above is an actual note that was written to one of my remaining best friends when she was in the fourth grade.  She is an amazing person so it is beyond me that someone would write her a note such as this.  And just for the record – all the boys do like her!  Find her insights on her blog:




  1. U go Girl!!! I agree if a friendship doesn’t include commonality or some sort of pleasure, by default it is no longer WORTH IT!!

  2. Just wanted to tell you how much I absolutely love your blog. It truly is you in every way and it shows all of the hard work and commitment you have made to this site. Truly a work of art and a wonderful spirit throughout! Julie

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