Do You Believe in God?

By tamara on

godSundays have become a day of ritual for me and as many people do on Sundays, I spend a part of it in spiritual reflection. In other words, I pray.

Through the years, my faith has gone through a dramatic course. I was raised in a Catholic home and even attended Catholic school. But at young age, I considered myself to be a profound and independent thinker and as such, I questioned the existence of god. I therefore labeled myself as an agnostic. After the tragic death of my mother, a life I believed to be taken too soon, I no longer had a need for god or religion and crossed over to the dark side to atheism.

There I stayed for most of my adult life until the quest for understanding our deeper purpose brought me to a spiritual place. I often found myself referring to the spiritual force of the universe as God – so I came to believe in God, once again.

What brought me back to this spiritual place was a belief in a power that is greater than me. My rekindled belief in God didn’t occur as an epiphany, but instead it was an evolutionary process. In reading dozens of books written by religious orators and spiritualists, I have come to feel that faith is the ultimate power of the universe and without it, we limit our potential as humans beings; while with faith, we are limitless.

I never fully returned to Catholicism, because I questioned the integrity of the Church and its politics. Instead I went straight to the source and read the gospel directly from the Bible. And just as every teacher encouraged us to read the book instead of seeing the movie, what I gleaned was greater than I would have ever imagined – there is a reason that the Bible is the greatest story ever told.

But drawing parallels between the lessons of the Bible and modern day life can be challenging. That is why I turn to modern day spiritualists for learning and inspiration.

Today, I happened to watch a segment taught by Eckhart Tolle, about his new book “A New Earth.” During the segment, a caller dialed in and asked a question about the Crucifixion of Jesus. Eckhart spoke about the cross as the tool of Christ’s torture, but stated its representation as a symbol of divinity. He further explained that we all have our cross to bear, and only when we have faced what tortures us, will we be able to walk in our truth and into the divine.

I knew exactly what he meant by this. I have always believed that my cross to bear has been my dealing with my mother’s death. Who I am today, is a direct result of her death. When it happened, it was excruciating. But even still, I never ran from the pain. Instead I suffered through and once I healed, I saw the divine; and then it became my greatest source of strength and inspiration.

Eckhart continued to talk about our pain body. It is our cross to bear and the baggage we carry. And we all have it. It is the hot button that sets you off in what would be a casual and harmless discussion. Recognition is the first step in healing.

This post is dedicated to anyone who is searching for greater purpose as well as anyone who has a tendency to push down their emotions and ignore their pain body.


  1. I’m really sorry that you felt atheism was ‘dark.’

    I have found it to be such an incredible light. For example, its morals are on more solid ground than religions’: rather than doing good because we expect a reward from a deity, we should do good because all we have in this world is each other. Christianity’s golden rule follows: do unto others …, but the justification is radically different. I don’t do good because I’m afraid of being punished if I don’t. Rather, I do good because that’s how I want all people to behave.

    I have found much more happiness and genuine caring from atheists and atheism than from religions and religious people. Sam Harris and Michael Shermer are two good authors to try if you’re curious.

    All that said, I just had 50 people over my house. They were there to celebrate Easter. I celebrated the start of Spring and the happiness of having 50 people come to my house.

    • I was referring to the “darkness” of atheism with a sarcastic tone given how religious our culture is the judgment I endured when I told my friends and family that I didn’t believe in god.

      But the truth of the matter was that my atheism was rooted in pragmatism of science. I believed that one day science will be able to explain all the mysteries that we currently attribute to religious phenomenon.

      As for religion, I particularly disliked the punitive nature of religion and I also agree that deeply religious people are often the most judgmental – all reasons why I was glad to walk away from religion.

      To me it’s about kindness, gratitude, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and most of all oneness.

      Thanks for commenting. I look forward to more discussion on the subject at our next lunch.

  2. Awesome Post. Pure genius. Very thought provoking and discussing a topic that most people find taboo. I loved it. Could be my favorite post yet.

    I like to think I cared out my own spiritualism. Yes, I believe in God, but, the Holy Spirit is the foundation of my belief system. I think prayer is so underrated. It’s free. You can do it anywhere. And you can zone out all assholes around you if you have that ability to focus.

    It’s Holocaust Remembrance Day! There is a lot to reflect on today.


  3. a belief in a power greater than me….an evolutionary process….with a faith, we are limitless

    totally identify and thank you for ringing the bell of awareness with PtheC

    Enjoy Spring!!!

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